I’ll admit it: I have a potty mouth. I try REALLY hard not to- just as I am still trying not to refer to myself in the third person to my two oldest godchildren. “Aunties doesn’t like that” just makes them look at me like I have three heads.

So, what does a potty mouth do when they’re trying to reform their language? They substitute. Today is my 27th birthday, and in honor of that, this post is entirely on making light on some of the weird stuff that comes out of my mouth when I’m trying not to swear.

So, without further ado, here it is… my not-even-close-to-complete list of Non-quite offensive words.



Herbert Nenninger! I left the oven on again!

Boogers! I dropped a pie dish! (or Shitake mushrooms, OR say please to mice)

Gaul Durn it, why won’t this thing work?

Christmas on a Cupcake, where on earth are my glasses?

Oven of Biscuits! I crushed my thumb!

Lady Godiva that stove is hot!

You don’t have to be such a dogcatcher about it.

I fell on the ice and bruised my endbits.

girls have an innie (or hoonenkoontz), boys have an outie (or Klinginspritzer)… these words also apply when you might call someone a ‘coward’ or ‘jerk’ if you catch my drift.

Name Calling basically boils down to:

Debbie Downer/Douglas Downer = someone who is constantly talking about sad stuff and bringing down a group of people

Chatty Cathy/ Chatty Charles = someone who gossips

Nitty Nancy/ Nitty Nicholas = Someone who nitpicks others

Negative Nora/ Negative Nixon = someone who can’t find the good in anything